Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
