She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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