so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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