Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
