So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
