i just wanna soil my oats bro
so explain again why im purple
no
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
