You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
