Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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