You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Every concussion has its silver lining
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize