OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
