The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
