He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
