My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
