I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
