i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize