Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
