Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I need water and some morals
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
