I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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