i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
