Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
