I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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