I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize