You made me cry and you don't even care
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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