Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
youre lurking in front of me
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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