I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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