If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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