Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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