next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Randomize