Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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