just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
