Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
