You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
