I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
