Me too!
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
