How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
