Will you blow on my dice?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize