can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You ruined the universe
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
