feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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