JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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