she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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