I looked at my own cervix.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
