I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
