Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
People in love make me want to vomit
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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