coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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