when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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