I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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