seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
