yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
