I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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