how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
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He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
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Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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