And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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