you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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