My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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