oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
