i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize