that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
