Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
