We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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